Curtains & Doctors

After last night's 11;30pm visitation by a bald goy that had the cats scurrying and me unable to sleep until almost 3am, I looked around the room and thought what security 'holes' might be sealed. I had purchased on eBay expensive linen curtains, the kind of curtains I dreamed about once for a home I will never have. They're like opaque gauze, eggshell you cannot see through them and they let light in. 12 panels plus shpg was under $20-once in a lifetime. The front window looks out on the porch and is cat territory (what isnt cat territory is a better question), often Bootee will sleep on the window sill when weather is warm enough, he did that in Bklyn and waited for the sunrise. He's such a sweeetie pie. So I only had one heavy panel there that seemed to provide privacy for me and was open enough for them. When the banging began on the door last night I was lying down reading in bed my eye caught the 3 inch gap where any asshole could lean over take a peek and see, whats going on?Q? Looking around I noticed the curtain over the AC left at least a 6" gap where the 2ndfl windows next door could look in if someone was trying, the fire escape runs along my apartment up to the roof, anyone using it could look in, the window that remains shut because the landlord slapped on sign on it saying "please do not open" seemed closed enough with two of the linen panels, but the slightest movement left gaps here and there...enough. Brought in black garbage bags and sealed that do not open window, then used a beautiful floral shower curtain that has a rod opening, but is thick cotton and cant see anything thru that, hung that up, took down the linen panels and put those up over the AC and used a cafe curtain in the middle. The panels hand on each side, leaving the AC free to work, the cafe is head to toe right above it, closing off any views. That left cat window sill and I used a last cafe curtain which greatly annoyed Mr. B who finds my moving, changing and doing things very upsetting. It wasn't enough I took him out of Brooklyn to move into this damp muggy new place where he's afraid to venture into the other room that has an overhead ceiling fan that seems to look like a large moving bird or bat...but I keep moving things around so he cant get used to where things should be. But that's not true because he has a bed on top of a linen closet, his own wagon covered with blankets, toys and a bloody Tiffany lampshade that has two bulbs that warm him in the deadd of winter, no even that isnt enough, this pompous puss who was rescued from a shelter, from a tall vertical cage filled with black cats meowing for be held, fed and let free...no, he's pouting now, still shaken up from the banging last night, he spent most of today under the bed. There isnt a secure enough spot for him...sometimes I find him just staring at me and I can only imagine what thoughts go thru his pussycat head, he is not happy. I also went out onto the porch, brought everything inside. There was a table out there with a cloth covering it, chairs, a flowering Impatiens plant with red blossoms, a wind chime, a 2nd folding table, a shopping cart so heavy I couldnt use it and my son never put it together when asked to do so at least twice...made in China, the wheels stunk so incredibly bad I could not keep them , even bagged inside the apartment, the stench of whatever chemical was in the wheels made me sneeze. I brought everything inside, except one chair and the small folding table in case I go out with a tea mug or the cell. In other words, porch is out of business, dont bother knocking. finally, finally...I found a new set of doctors here. Doctors with top patient ratings, doctors with awards, without sanctions against them, that accept my insurance (which happens to be excellent) and doctors that are still within the conglomerate medical system that has taken over the state. NY rheumi told me its going on all over the country, medical consolidation, hospitals combining, closing. So is it an enormous sense of relief and I hope since the team I researched and was not referred to by the old boy network I walked into when I first moved here will be a much better set. The PC looked at my list of illnesses and said, Fibro? doesnt exist! That alone should have told me this is the wrong clown, but he had just refilled all my scripts without flinching and prescribed new pain medication. A pain med which is both uselsss for pain, in my case, and completely stops your insides from moving or doing anything. He raved, this is twice the strength of what you're taking, this should be great, up to 4 a day. I can only think some of these doctors are testing patients when they do stuff like this, no one can chew 4 of these pills a day and use the bathroom. I stopped using them after the first week. So he's getting back 3/4 of a bottle and needs to write a script for the old med he took away from me. That will be my last visit, whether he writes the prescription or not. I found a very well liked PC, with years of experience but not too old that he cant think contemporary medicine, a female rheumi that acknowledges Fibro and has treated my type of arthritis and the chief of ortho surgery here, will still see patients, his speciality is hip surgery. So if this man says, oh yeah I also do epidural blocks and can put a new hip in, promise you wont feel a thing, then I'll buy that line. But when a doctor hasnt the time of day to explain what he's going to do except in verbal shorthand and tosses a folder at me, doesnt explain how an epidural can possibly block a major cut, sawing and stapling, then he's not the doctor for me and worst of all, no PCA. I wont bore myself or anyone again with ranting about wanting a PCA, but after '06 surgery and being rendered speechless by indescribable pain, pain so awesome the nurse looked at my eyes, my mouth unable to form words, my hands clutching her, she got it..brought the Dilaudid drip in a PCA and sanity was restored. I dont want to get high, just keep the pain away. I have so much pain every damn day that you could have me chewing qat leaves all day and it wouldnt faze me. And every appointment falls within the 3 weeks. Surgery was moved to August 11, to avoid doing anything during the 3 weeks. Now that its cancelled because of pnuemonia, its like starting from scratch and I took appointments as they were available since most are at least 2-3 weeks from now, but still, during AV. I left the idiotic rheumatologist who misdiagnosed me as just having an arthritic flare, despite 3 weeks of feverish chills, fever stam at .99 in hot weather with chills, nausea etc. "its just the arthritis flaring" --left him an update that its pnuemonia and wished him well, thanked him for his medical care. I think he got the point, because my followup appt with him was cancelled. He left a return note, I hope you feel better soon. I do, knowing I dont have to sit waiting to see you for 2 hours and then another hour in the exam room only to have you forget to send in my prescriptions. anyway, its late, I hope to get some reading in, in peace tonight.