Egypt birthing itself

It's amazing how Morsi misjudged his own people. Perhaps being on the political outside for so many decades as the Brotherhood was rendered by modern Egyptian leaders, he lost touch with the passion, humor and determination Egyptians uniquely are blessed with. An evening watching Egypt comedies with Adel Amin and others would have brought him up to date. Egyptians have been mocking and poking fun at their paternalistic dictators for decades.

After expelling Colonialism, Nasser represented himself as a Father of Egypt and its people. He hijacked, for lack of a better term, Um Kalthoum and the Egyptians anointed her the Mother of Egyptians. Songs of past glory, longing in love, success in piety, Life, Love and a constant urging to bear the burden with humor as better days will return, always just around the corner were believed and bought by generations of Egyptians. With government controlled media in all its forms, it was virtually impossible for Egyptians to know the truth of their circumstances...until computers and the Internet arrived. And that was decades before social media.

Internet provided forums to socialize with one another, with people in other countries using IM options, then on websites until the government realized how much activity was going on. Internet cafes sprung up with hours for men and women. What was forbidden in social society became a possibility via screen and keyboards. People could hook up, talk, argue about politics, fall in love, make plans.

Egyptians began to see a broader world and all the lies they were being told. Even though a lot of these matters were discussed in hushed conversations or strictly at home among trusted relatives, conversations were beginning. As Jews once discussed leaving Germany or Poland when the writing of Hitler was on the wall, Egyptians who could do so began dreaming of getting out, leaving the country for Europe, Netherlands and the U.S. Those who could maneuver the American Embassy-a bee hive of informers-safely applied for visas to visit relatives, go abroad for business, always with the proviso of returning, many not planning to return like a tiny flame that raged in their hearts. Others, almost exclusively men, looked for women anywhere seeking marriage, leading to a visa for them to depart.

I do not see this so-called coup a step back at all for Egypt. It is a spasm....like a baby who kicks and pulls up his tiny legs in pain when hunger eats at his unformed stomach-he needs to be held and fed. Egyptians are experiencing what Freedom means and their are exercising their rights. They voted in a man who appeared to have the least amount of ties with former colonial powers, whose party has medical clinics, feeding centers, schools for the poor...they voted for him with the belief that he would represent them and set them on a self sufficient path. Enough food and jobs for a start.

And there's a lot to do. Egypt's infrastructure is almost non existent. People have to pay for their own sewage lines or not have any. When you buy an apartment you get 4 walls and the quality of the cement may or may not mean the building will collapse within 5-10 years or stand a few years longer. The jokes about Egyptian traffic are not funny if you are trying to cross the road and the cars never stop, because they don't--you just launch out their, dodging cars as the 'traffic police' wave buses or important vehicles this way and that to pass them along amid all the civilian drivers. Museums with crumbling exhibits and hand lettered signage explaining what an item is you're peering at in disbelief. Smoking everywhere and anywhere  nonstop.

I hope Egypt continues to 'spasm' until they get it right and get the leaders they deserve. The young student who was obsessed with Egypt and was killed this past week likely understood and experienced the resilience and hope of a young revolution still in its throes and in no way finished. Egypt may not be a tourist trap at the moment, but it needs to handle its own storms without outside interference--it will survive and grow with patience and belief by its people that they themselves know what's best for Egypt.

Therapy, yet again

Last week I was having coffee with a friend when the cell rang and it was the new therapist recommended by my doctor. I'm not comfortable speaking on such  matters in public and asked him if I might call him back, and did so when I got home. This took place right before my session with current therapist.

I've not listed the various labels my current therapist has slapped on me, simply out of shame. My point here is that our working relationship took a nose dive since she returned from sick leave of 3 weeks when she complained I was the only "highly stressed" patient she has, everyone else just waited for her to return to see patients. Well la di da. All I did was leave  voice mail asking when she planned to return after almost no communication from her--she doesn't have a secretary or staff to communicate with patients and wasn't keeping in touch herself except once to call with a scratchy voice saying she wasn't yet ready to see patients in her 2nd week of being out. Everyone gets sick....I think the imbalance for me is she is the medical figure, I am patient and 3 weeks of no therapy was a bit long for me, especially when I just started on antipsychotic medication....there, now you know, its that bad, I was hallucinating and not smoking absinthe.

So since then she's been picking me apart very coldly with these labels explaining how I have expectations of people, dismiss people, self centric, basically I do things in survival mode (my term) all the time although she doesn't see it as survival mode anymore, it ws okay for a child or a young mother, at my age it's not allowed anymore. I do mean at times she grins at me almost sadistically to see whether she gets a rise out of me, any supportive or nurturing on her part has dissolved into a brick wall of anecdotes about her other patients to give me examples of how and why certain behaviors are or are not acceptable.

Okay, example--she mentioned one very educated man who would adamantly refuse to listen to any music other than classical. She once played something for him and he asked her to please stop the music it was almost painful for him to listen, it wasn't classical music. She explained that for this man, in order for him to feel superior he denigrated anything he didn't consider highbrow or intellectually above most people's taste. I don't do anything like that, give me Jimi Hendrix anytime as well as Medieval music although I'm not crazy about Mozart, I could listen to Chopin 24/7 but limit myself because his affect on me emotionally is too strong.

She hasn't explained where personal taste begins and bad behavior begins....I'm just exhibiting bad behavior since I didn't like the book she recommended and disagreed with her about who to vote for, for President last year. I don't want to bore you with further petty details but it feels like my disagreeing with her selections is a slap in her face, in fact she outright stated 2x that my comments insulted her by disrespecting her choices, so because of that she has withdrawn her more personal support and is being more formal in her approach.

My only concern about switching is whether the new therapist will be around for more than one year, he is being supervised by my doctor as a last year intern...maybe I'm being too cautious, but I do think the energy I'm wasting on trying to feel sane while dealing with this woman could be better utilized with someone supportive even short term.