Morbid fear

I have an absolute phobia about halloween.

Its not the ghosts, spooks, creepy carved pumpkins, not the brats leaning on
doorbells or crouched on rooftops clutching boxes of eggs to hit homecoming commuters...it isn't even the toilet paper streaming everywhere, as if a world of ghosts suddenly felt the need to wipe their invisible butts

...its my addiction to freakin candy corn.

There's so much of it left over after the holiday it sells at .50 a bag...couple of weeks later, you can find the .50 bags for 75% off.

My hero, Lewis Black, has thoroughly studied and researched candy corn. It turns out only one batch was ever made in the late 1800s and it just keeps getting recycled annually because no one eats the stuff...except me...and most idiots I offer it to.
These same folks are the ones who keep PEEPS in business, a candy standard I cannot imagine ever sinking to.

And, i might add, i was recently shocked when I walked into Walgreens and found a wall of halloween candy in bags, 2/$3.00. Peering over the bottom of my split lens (aka bi focals) I noted bags of candy corn shapes...chocolate cats, witches hats, caramel colored bats, yellow corn cobs, and fat orange pumpkins with tiny green stumps crowning their chewy teeth rotting little selves.

Like much of what's going on, its a conspiracy to kill us early to make room for the next group who need the beds.