A few more days...

October 31, 07 P. who had been suffering from a heavy chest infection, severe congestion went to the vet. For the first time in her 19 years, she had to take medicine. He prescribed Clindamycin and Periactin to encourage her appetite. I cleaned her nasal passages 2x a day, she would come to me and sit, waiting for me to scoop her up and do it, just so she could breathe. AFter that she would drink for 10-15 minutes as if she was beyond thirst. She was dehydrated when the vet first saw her. After 4 days on meds, she began vomiting, couldnt hold food down. I stopped the periactin and continued the antibiotic; the vomiting continued and diarrhea began.
She is exceptionally fastidious, wont even use her litter box unless its clean, so not having control of her bowels, having stool stick to her long hair and not even watning to be around her own self, was very upsetting. I had to wash her paws and back end with warm water. After vomiting as hard and often as she did, she seemed frightened to eat and cause herself more discomfort.

On Nov. 5 she neither ate, nor drank...no stool, very little urine. She seemed comfortable, but was unusually quiet. She slept alone in the kitchen where she's been spending time rather than where the TV is or any noises are going on.

On Nov. 6 I woke very early because I had planned to clean her nose, try to give her some medicine if her stomach had calmed down, make sure she drank. I cleaned her nose, helped her drink and thought better of giving her meds because I had to go to work and didnt want her to be alone, vomiting if that might happen.

I came home by 5:30 and usually she would come near the door, come from wherever she was sleeping to welcome me, today she remained in the kitchen spot she made for herself in a large blue plastic wash basin. A few weeks ago I had tried putting a soft towel in for her to warm herself or cuddle with, she refused to get back in. Very strange, she's never put herself in such a container.

She finally came out with coaxing...I didnt want to invade this place where she feels safe; she came into the bathroom and waited for me to run the shower, something she enjoyed, sometimes would play with the cool water. She didnt go in. She went to stand outside the bathroom, unsure what to do, where to go.
I prepared her cleaning supplies, scooped her up and palced her on my bed to clean her nose. It wasnt congested enough to prevent her from drinking, but it was clear from her bowls, she hadn't touched water today and certainly hadn't eaten.
Mouth movement sounded just the same as when a human is dehydrated, you can hear the swallow and tongue sticking from dryness. I brought her water bowl on the bed as we've been doing the last 2 weeks, so its comfortable for her to drink after being cleaned. She stared at me, turned away from the water...

By now it was 6:15...I called the vets office and said I thought she may be dying.
Vet said bring her in. Threw on clothes, popped her into her carrier, not a peep from her, no growls, miaows, nothing.

Explained reaction to meds, her current state today. Vet wrote alot, mentioned it was rare but possible to react to clindamycin as she may be doing--I know its a stretch, but clindamycin makes me horribly sick to my stomach as well.
He finally said we have to decide how far to take this; her blood work last week was normal except for elevated calcium, which he was concerned about.
WHat he suggested was admit her to hospital overnight, put her on IV as dehydration was very obvious, she had fever of 101.6 and they will take xray on Wed looking for tumors. Blood tests cannot detect cancer and xrays may also not find cancer when she actually may have it.

I told him I will not have her put to sleep, I dont have alot of money, but I dont want her to suffer.
He suggested admitting her for the above and if everything indicates she is dying or does have cancer he will show me how to give her IV fluids and keep her comfortable at home.

I asked him to tell the front desk to please allow me to divide up payments, I want to do whats needed but its very expensive. This animal has been with me 19 years. Longer than parents, husband, even my children. She's moved everywhere with me, she's lived with me and relationships who were so ignorant they chased her trying to pick her up with a broom, trimmed her long hair and whiskers, brought a dog into her space who ate from her litter box...and always she looked to me for protection. We've never had a comfortable home.
AFter the monster was removed from our apt. I painted since a painter wanted $700, I built a couch so she would have a place to curl up, I bought 2 room size wool rugs to keep the rooms warm and she could relax anywhere. I thought we are finally alone at last, it wont be for much longer, I owe her anything I can give her.

Nov. 7 I have to call the vet to find out what's going on...its very strange tonight not having her here, sitting on the bed, pisssed off I at the computer, waiting on the bed to be brushed, miaowing in the kitchen or bathroom for me to come in and then pretend nothing's wrong...must have been the cat in the back yard...that innocent look she never quite was able to pull off.

So there's no tehilllim I know of for animals...but if the Abishter will let me carry any pain for her and let her go home peacefully, that's alot and enough.