Around Town...

Currently dealing with a recurring series of symptoms, the most debilitating being a fatigue that is so overwhelming I had 2 days of dishes in the sink, the rugs need vaccuuming and all I crave is to sleep. Its not depression 'sleep' its a literal inability to remain awake. So I did bits of this and that (forced myelf to wash dishes by leaning on the sink for support) and laid down as needed, which was to the delight of both cats who prefer me to hang out with them in the bedroom.

This is a really tiny apartment but with Mr. B unable to jump now, he comes in whining his meows wanting me in his space, either next to his bed patting him gently or he sleeps under my bed. Since its Irish Day in a town that is oblivious of its Jews, I expected a day of relative silence.

But no....around 2pm, neighbor's mother called and asked me to join her for coffee at the cafe where her daughter works on weekends. She likes to pull me along on excursions like this or ask me to call her daughter instead of doing it herself. I've  always refuses since its her passive aggressive manipulation of her daughter, but since it was only coffee, I accepted, planning to keep the evening short.

She got lost and in making a wrong turn we drove through a neighborhood that was clearly a once thriving Jewish community. In the few blocks we drove through there were at least 3 large synagogues; one had been repurposed into a Charter School, another was boarded up, a third was a shul style building, more modest without stained glass or high buttresses and structures, also closed with a For Sale sign. Many of the houses on these blocks were also boarded up, dilapidated and the few residents that were walking around were clearly, clearly not Jewish. So....I wondered had they all fled to the Jewish enclave where I was told to move into when I first thought of coming to PA? Had that generation died out and their children moved elsewhere? What of the edict that a synagogue may not be sold for non Jewish purposes?

Then I thought, who are you to wonder on such things, when lighting Friday night candles eludes you?  But there was a sense of long lost history that came in a rush of images that were not mine, but of crowds that seemed familiar and familial.

The woman who was driving had been telling me her pastor had prayed and did a laying of hands on her bad leg along with his wife and another couple, to give her 'healing'. I really do feel she wants to get me to come over to her way of living or thinking, but it isn't happening ever.  She said after 2 weeks she finally was pain free after sleeping after the laying on of hands, and felt because of her faith she had been granted a miracle. She is never direct in her statements, but always makes note of my physical state and then launches into her faith based born again religion...it was disorienting because my visceral reaction was to the repurposed lives of buildings that once were the center of simchas and sorrows. She talked right past my comment on what I was seeing. I had to refocus and come back into the car, with whom I sat and understand that such matters are of no consequence to non Jews.

I read earlier today that Cossacks are being trained in Russia. The photo showed them in Cossack attire learning to use whips. The government is training a police force of Cossacks to enforce rules in communities that get out of hand or challenge the government.
I am watching all the signs...the signs obvious as this and more subtle...the buying up of  guns and ammo all over the US. Obama suddenly announcing it'll be at least another 12 months before Iran has a nuclear bomb-notably this announcement comes days before he travels to see Netanyahu in Israel.
China hacks us at will, wants to buy a controlling share of the GM building and supposedly Social Security etc will be nationalized as well as private pensions to pay for the Treasury Bills that China no longer buys to bolster our economy--even Americans haven't been buying Treasury bills, so that  income has dried up for the government.  Stating these facts to my children is a waste of  breath, they live as if Life is to be taken one week/day at a time, the future is too dark to even engage with...or maybe mother is too dark to engage with.

Thinking, it may be sooner than later, that aliyah might be the only exit to stay alive or be willing to die by the sword.