New therapist coming

I met with my psychiatrist this morning and flat out told him, through tears, I need his help. We discussed the relationship I have with my current therapist and her divulging so much of her personal life, which has only made me very concerned for her and her frailties. When I saw her Tues, she said her other patients all did well during her 3+ week absence only I was highly stressed and remained the single highly stressed patient she has. I have also brought her gifts in moments of deep 'love' and concern to make her feel better. While I care deeply for her, my intuitive sense is that the relationship is skewed and off balance, its more about her than her guiding me forward. I was concerned that either narcissism or something else was making me biased about how we were working, wanting the focus on me more than me comforting her, but seeing the expression on my psychiatrists face made me realize my instincts are right.

He has recommended I begin working with his intern whom he will supervise. It will only be for about 1 year but at least it will begin a track of my being supervised by one of the best psychiatrists in the country. He knew immediately to adjust my diagnosis to a specific type of depression and while he is brilliant, he is impenetrable. I told him today that is why he is invaluable for me to work with, because no matter who I work with, male/female, I construct a transference relationship, a common part of my diagnosis. With him, I can care for him, but its a safe caring. He hears me, understands, asks pertinent questions, isn't afraid of my emotional storms and actually is capable of ironic humor something he is able to do because he trusts himself and respects my intelligence. I am truly lucky to have him on my side....and I hope he remains there.

So I will have to terminate with my current therapist, but first I will meet with this new one and we'll both decide if its a good fit. After the year is up, I have to trust something will be in place to continue work.

I was very anxious about this morning, thinking I would be referred back to my existing therapist or challenged on why I want to suddenly leave but there are too many balls that have been dropped and I realized how  much time I'm wasting, I am immensely relieved psych understood the importance of making a switch aside from  the emotional issues I brought into the session.