Working

I've been focused on finally putting together a volume of poetry, my first....could be my only:-) But I must do this as I left my children very early in their lives in order to write. While that might see frivolous or outrageous, I put myself through college while working full time and wrote. I critiqued feature film scripts, lived in basements, had my toes bitten by mice as well as my manuscripts chewed at by mice. And I managed to do it all while living with severe depression and other undiagnosed mental illnesses. So, in my own mind I owe the good Lord who allowed us all to survive my journey to produce something before I die.

That little intro is my excuse for not writing on my blog more recently.
My therapist opened a discussion about "leveling" and passive aggressive--we've only covered leveling and even that needs another session to clarify. I'm curious how many more layers of labels are going to be slapped on me before all my idiosyncrasies are covered/


I brought in a shelter cat that was in part a Maine Coon, 18 lbs of fluff and turned out to be very domineering. She sat in the Boys' litter  box like a chicken on a clutch, she jumped everywhere all 18 lbs of her, she ate their food but ignored her own and chased my smaller nervous cat into corners with bared teeth, ears pinned back, growling. While she was alone with me, she was a fluff ball of gentle shyness that liked being brushed and talked to. It was like Jekyll and Hyde, after 4 days of watching my Boys not eat and trying to find hiding places, I packed Missy up and a friend helped me return her to the shelter. She didn't mind my friends Yorkie yipping and yapping all over the room and licking her, but fellow cats did not meet with her approval. Absolutely no boundary lines, I dare say a very obnoxious cat...talk about passive aggressive.

Otto Kernberg quotes another doctor (Gunderson?) as defining passive aggressive as " a dog who licks your face while peeing on your shoe." Very unsettling to say the least.