Monday, April 25, 2011

read something else...

I'm here writing to save the bitz of sanity left after packing an apartment by myself and being sick inbetween. 1 day intense packing means 2-3 days of chills, extreme body ache. Yesterday the weather here was foggy, damp, cool and I could neither stay awake or find the pain med. I dont think they make pain meds strong enough for what I have, unless a morphine drip was available, aint no such luck. You know, that should be an option for doc/patient to decide whether to use of not. I am actually stringent, sparing to the point of stupidity when it comes to using pain medication because I use something very strong. Maybe because I dont use it everyday, on purpose, although I'd love to and never have much pain, it continues to be effective. So over the past 5 years I've learned how to maintain the various joint/nerve disorders I have. One thing I'm looking forward to discussing w another doctor is what type of exercise is safe. I may need to invest in a treadmill because the energy required to go to a gym would finish me before I got there, had a workout and came home to collapse for days. psoriatic arthritis and severe fibromyalgia. Unfortunately, diagnosis and treatment for both came 2 decades after seeing one doctor after another who chalked it up to 'nerves' or 'depression.' So now the joint damage is pretty severe. Fibro attacks the nerves and psoriatic arthritis chews up the joints. So the combo is enough to keep anyone in bed. but I keep going because if I stop starting up again is too difficult. I realized this while out walking. Where I live there are no places to sit, no benches, people place spiked fences by their property...its a signal to one and all to keep moving. About the best a person can do is stop near a light post and try to look at anything except the person passing who stares at you with curiosity. My spine has compressed-dealing with the above issues was becoming bearable with the new biologics my Dr. prescribed, but now my leg gives way just when I need it and so going out is frightening at times. Its as if one leg is shorter than the other; the lower discs are so jammed together one leg cant be lifted more than a few inches-the other leg, its as if it belongs to someone else, not a problem, thank G-d. So UPS rings the bell around 7pm and the guy is there with 3 boxes, none too heavy but large and clumsy. And I'm there with the cane and keys and he load the boxes into the hallway, has me sign and sez 'goodnight.' Some UPS guys are princes, they dont even ask, they sprint up the steep stairs with something large or heavy or both and some refuse to be tipped. I get two boxes up the steps but making a 4th trip up and down must have been too much. Almost at the top of the staircase my leg gave way under me, cane rattled and slide down the steps and I fell flat on the stair and boxes. Lucky for me I didnt follow the cane, that would have put an end to traveling anywhere, any time soon.

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