birthday 4.19

Mother did not like us to celebrate birthdays...if we received presents from classmates, we had to give had any gifts. ..give back presents. If Champ stopped by house with some oil
paintings, lampsa, trapestries, jewelry, transistor radios off some truck, those were okay to accept.We unwrapped everything and Mother told me to pass presents to all the children to take home.
When we giggled a few days before her birthday and went to Dad for money, he wanted know where we were going to buy her gift. Ardsley Dress Shop, but of coooors. They would sit us 10 and 7 yrs old on the satin armchairs and bring out the dreses and we selected 2 and a robe, everything would be boxed and delivered for her birthday I won't bore you with the results, except to say we knew her taste and the sales ladies knew what the game was, so they showed us what she wanted and we picked from her selections. When the clothes arrive,the pink tweed suit is not really her taste and the deep wine colored house coat is too modest and heavy...but Is loved it because it was like a royal cloak in weight and spread....

In other years she simplly said she wasnt celebrating an y more birthdays...she stayed 36 for more than 5 years.

Husband #1 didnt celebrate much of anything except purim when he put my clothes and makeup on and danced on the table in shul drinking mashka while he yelled when they read Haman's name.
Husband #2 said his family doesnt celebrate birthdays. While I was in Egypt I shopped and baked a large strawberry cream cake. The whole family who didnt celebrate birthdays came to eat it and take pics.

My children...I tried to buy them, even a special nosh or candy and always made a birthday cake, if we didnt have money for toys or clothes.

When husband #2 had his last birthday with me, I went to Men's WEarhouse and we shopped for some sharp clothes for his work. He loved them so much, they looked so good, he kept them in their plastic sleeve and didnt wear them. His lady friend sent him a miniature video camera so he could take pics and put them online for her. While the clothes sat untouched in the closet, he spend time playing with his new camera. This box was the one that contained the cards and pics of "Our dear Stepfather' and "My beloved husband"


My father's favorite birthday cake was strawberry shortcake, we would buy it for him from Cake Masters and sometimes Mother would make him bar b que chicken (special family recipe)

Tomorrow is my first birthday completely alone in many years. No parents, no husband, no kids. I have minor surgery scheduled and they dont want to do it unless someone can pick me up. Which parent should I call? Which husband will come to take me home? Which of the children will stop by to see if I need some tea...a blanket.

If there's no one to hear a celebration, is it a celebration?
fasting for 2 days
very tired