charity by any other name, remains charity

Pulling together the practical logistics for having major surgery has been overwhelming. I do not feel well, but it seems I was withdrawing from at least 2 medications that doctors here took off of pre op. Maybe it wasnt the best idea to call my ex and discuss what could be possible in terms of guidance in PA, he said try Bikur Cholim. A lovely older lady told me the Bikur Cholim is barely existing as the women who once visited and did things for congregants, dont anymore. She thought maybe I should call Gemilas Chesed because I mentioned post op I may need someone to come by daily just to check what needs doing or to bring simple groceries. Thank you, but no, its not gemilas chesed, I dont want tzedakah or a loan thank you. Her next suggestion was to contact Jewish Family and Children Services or Federation and get linked with a social worker. While it is 'brave of you to make this move alone' you need contacts and a community to help you get settled. Ah, nothing like moving near 4 healthy kids who live in walking distance and having to call on Jewish Federation to get sorted out by a social worker. Worked for 25 years, paid my bills my self AND child support AND taxes AND college loans and now its time to ask for a social worker? I dont think I have the stomach for it. Its pride, but you have to draw the line somewhere. I didnt ask for help in NY other than to get INTO a university to study, after that I was on my own. I explained the surgery pre op/post op schedule, asked for their help and no one responded. When I said I was hiring someone to take care of the cats, oldest son said, "Well if you're going to pay someone to do that I'll take the job." My ex and his 2nd wife did a great job or maybe they just take me for the same suckaah the nurses in one of the dr.s office here does by not giving the doctor my messages. Cwap, I left a message with Jewish Service social worker, dont see any other option at least have a discussion because my children are in absentia unless they need something and it time I wake up and smell the mendacity LMAO...I do, it stinks, time to grow up and take care of me since no one did, no one will. Except the Rebbe.