Cats & Other Dilemmas

Two of my kids came by, for early supper. Wasn't dinner because no one eats dinner at 4:30. Very strange how a person who knows you, knows alot of what's going on about you, comes in, drops their bags, makes a meal, eats, chats and says "gotta go." It felt obligatory, sort of like the nursing home visit another daughter said I shouldnt be thinking about, cause I ain't in one yet. Maybe they've discussed the idea already and just figure, she might as well be, we'll keep our distance, talk about the weather, anything but the family and that way we can just doggie paddle rather than swim into the deep end. I already heard the mantra, "we're so busy, get a life, dont wait for us" I got that already. So why come and avoid looking at how the apartment is, whats going on in the bedroom, ask if anything is needed in terms of help, oh wait, I forget my middle daughter emailed me a link for cheaper home care aide/maintenance help in case I want someone to come in and do something. The only thing I want done strangers cant do, is take the damn clothes to the landromat. You have to provide a car for the help to take the laundry outside. They will drive the clothes to the landromat, but using a cart is for the person who needs help but cant afford to pay an aide who requires a car to drive the clothes to the laundromat. We can blame unions for this upgrade in workers rights. But my plan at this point is to get the heck out of the hospital within 72 hours if not sooner, get inside and stay here. Never mind anything else. I solved the cat food problem, they were eating from dishes on the floor which was doing too much stretching of my hip that pops each time I lay out their food, So I threw a tablecloth on top of the table and placed their dishes on top. The first day was a huge success and then they decided to be contrary just for fun and when I placed the food they had just asked for, on the table rather than on the floor, Mr. B walked away and flopped on the rug, with a sigh. Bootie does a smaller imitation, they're both on strike. The litter box continues to be an issue because its so low, I bought a rake which is useless for cat litter, so I have to look at something else. There are tools available but reviews online just pan everything as rickety, cheap and they break easily. I thought to use a garden tool but cant find a narrow spade with a long handle or narrow shovel/scoop with a long handle. I have a second litter box and liner sifters which I may set up, but the calbe has been out for over a week and its erev Tish B'Av. its a small problem but seems to be the last major issue re: deep waist bending. Other things I can just leave or use a tool to pick things up. I dont believe that myself, knowing me I'll be pushing furniture around within being home after 2 days, but I hope to avoid that. When the kids were here I asked one to bring in chairs from the porch. He came and said there was a mean looking kitty trying to come inside. It was ms. puss looking for a meal...so I gave her some cat food and we went back nside. They left at 6:30. My cats are inside and somehow can sense her being around, outside. She doesnt meow, because I hear her when she does. So Bootee flopped by the back door, his signal that he wants to go out. Sure enough, there she was almost at the top step, looking to come in (but unsure of her welcome). Mr. Boo walked over to the top step and bared his teeth with a low growl, she raised her head, showed her teeth and hissed and neither moved except to bob heir heads slightly. She finally eased down the steps but refused to back down altogether. King of the Rotting Wood Porch am I, its mine and we wuz here first. He made it clear, while paccing and growling he did not want her to make herself at home here. I think the decision of bringing her in, has to be recalculated or dismissed. Mr. Boo is still pissed off I brought Bootee home as a new friend for him 4 years ago. They've adjusted but Mr. Boo wouldnt have been content to just be my cat and I didnt know I was suddenly going into retirement. Its unlikely Mr. B would survive me bringing in a third cat, although I think Bootee would be overjoyed to have someone return his affection and desire to play. As I write this I'm remembering what my daughter said last night..."I think you think you're cat are smart" or something to the effect that I attribute too much to them being able to understand much of anything, worry to much about how they feel. " My cat is stupid" she said and asked me if I wanted another cat and announced she doesn't want kids either. Too much work, too much to think about...there was a time I would blame my divorce or chassidus on some of this type of thinking or behavior but as I hear more statements or nihilistic thinking, I think we've run out of excuses. Neither son nor daughter asked for any surgery details, a date, how you getting there etc. so its clear, as if it wasnt already, that I can shut up, just go do it and send us a postcard when you're back. So I have to tap the strangers I met last week and see if they know reliable people to come in to do things. Very strange and sad situation. There's I'm busy and then there's I really dont give a flying phuck and I think we've taken off and are flying phucking high with total lack of care or concern. Dreamed I was in a hosptial room in Israel Oldest daughter was secretly married and somewhere around. Middle daughter was walking around in a long red dress and jewelry. Youngest daughter was opening lattice cutwork boxes and tossing grey dust everywhere. Thinking the kindest thing I can do for Ms Cat outside is to stop feeding her and coax her to stay in her place down the street because I can't see adopting her.